Louisville January 31, 2018
11 Sure-Fire Ways To Make A Louisvillian Mad
Most people from Louisville are fairly easygoing. Unless there is a basketball game on television that involves an inner-state or high school rivalry, we’re mostly calm, cool, and collected. There’s not much that makes us angry… but the things that do
really do. If you really want to make a Louisvillian mad though, try these eleven things. But don’t say I didn’t warn you!
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1. Ask us if we wear shoes.
First of all, this is just rude. It has long been a stereotype that people from Kentucky run around barefoot all year round, but this is not true at all, especially in Louisville. Louisville is a big city — walking around barefoot would just be asking to step on something unpleasant, like glass or used chewing gum.
2. Ask us if we marry our cousins.
This is another totally false (and totally rude) Kentucky stereotype. Again, Louisville (and Kentucky) is a big place: there are a lot of fish in this sea. We don’t need to date our cousins. Yuck.
3. Insult the University of Louisville sports teams...
Rivalries run deep in Louisville. If you see someone decked out in UofL apparel, especially on a game day, don’t you dare say anything bad about the Cardinals.
4. ...or the University of Kentucky sports teams.
Louisville is divided pretty much down the middle between these two teams. The only time you can insult the other team is if you’re completely sure where your companions’ loyalties lie. If someone is wearing a blue shirt, even if they went to the University of Louisville, think before you badmouth the UK team.
5. Roll your eyes at all the Derby madness.
Hey, only we can do that! If you live in Louisville, you’re allowed to get a bit exasperated by the pageantry of the Kentucky Derby that seems to last for months and blocks all the traffic. If you’re not from Louisville, though, you are only allowed to marvel at the grandeur of the "most exciting two minutes in sports" that takes place right here in our town.
6. Cause more traffic on the bridge...
Louisvillians hate bridge traffic more than anything. If you do something dumb like cause a fender bender that leaves all of us stuck on the bridge even longer on our way to work in the morning, don’t be surprised if we all start to hate you a little.
7. ...or anywhere else.
It isn’t just bridge traffic, it is traffic in general that Louisvillians just can’t stand. We might be easy going outside of the car, but inside the car, almost all of us get a bad case of road rage. So go the speed limit and drive like you know what you’re doing, and we’ll all get along just fine.
8. Insult small businesses.
Louisville is home to a big number of small businesses, and they all thrive here due to great support from the local community. These businesses deserve our respect (and patronage).
9. Think that our only claim to food fame is the Hot Brown.
Sure, the Hot Brown is fantastic and has been featured all over national and international television, but that isn’t all that Louisville has to offer! We have pizzas, we have fried chicken, we have Italian food, we have bacon on a stick... we have just about any kind of food you could imagine, and it is all delicious. Don’t leave town without trying as much as you can.
10. Speak badly of Muhammad Ali.
Muhammad Ali was no saint, we know that. But Louisvillians all have a fierce pride for this world-famous boxer and activist, and we celebrate him every day with a museum right here in town. Ali was The Greatest, and we tend to get a bit miffed if someone forgets this.
11. Ask us to write an article about how to make Louisvillians mad.
Writing about all these things made ME mad! And I gave you all the keys to tick off other Louisvillians too... My whole day is ruined!
Do any of these things make you mad? Is there anything else that should be added to the list?