The 10 Dumbest Criminals In Kentucky Of All Time Will Have You Laughing In Disbelief
Crime Stoppers, law enforcement, and other media often cover wanted criminals all across Kentucky, along with other states. The television and news stations are also littered with crime shows, featuring both average criminals and masterminds. Very few of them ever feature the law breakers of legendary stupidity. Kentucky has a few that will make you shake your head in disbelief.
Here are 10 lawbreakers of legendary stupidity for the Bluegrass wall of shame:
It was reported in Paducah on July 14th, 2011 that Nathan Johnson, then 28, was arrested for having intimate relations with a horse at Carson Park. The bestial intimicies were witnessed and reported instantly. Unfortunately, the records made clear this was not Johnson’s first horse ride.
Terrance Roach advanced on a woman in a Louisville Kroger in a sexual manner, announcing he was a rapist and not a pedophile. He followed her and continue harassing her until police arrived. He ran, but was arrested and did not deny the allegations. During the lineup he blatantly stated he was a rapist several times.
Hopkinsville police got a surprise mid June 2015. Christopher L. Stewart drove into the "do not enter" side of their lot, almost hitting a police cruiser. He then stepped out, telling the police he was ready to be arrested for DUI, and had consumed a pint before driving there. The officers also prevented Stewart from consuming a bottle of fuel injector cleaner during his arrest.
Conley decided to do a little shopping in November 2013, except he didn’t plan on paying. When caught leaving with the merchandise, he claimed he was an officer of the law, pointing a gun at the Walmart employee and showing a badge. The real police received several more calls like this, but security footage had a clear image of Conley. He was found working at a YMCA, giving children those "badges" to be helpers at the Y.
On Nov. 20, 2013, Reynolds was wanted for questioning in regards to burglaries. When police asked him to come into the station, he responded with, "Do your job, catch me if you can". Needless to say, they caught him.
In November 2013 in Louisville, Cherell Gibson crashed her red Monte Carlo into a convenience store window, but was unharmed. She then snatched rolls of lottery tickets from the inside the window and left, thinking herself immune to the video cameras catching the entire event. She later went to another store with ALL her winnings and started cashing them all in. The amount won was not enough to cover legal fees from the incident.
This brilliant robber we’ll deem, "Duct Tape Bandit", in Ashland decided he was going to rob Shamrock Liquors. He wrapped his face in duct tape (shown below), entered the establishment and made his demands. However, his demands were met by the owner with a bat, and he was subdued in the parking lot until police could arrive. After a photo shoot, they removed the duct tape, but Kazee claims no memory of the incident.
Two men decided to make a heavy withdrawal in the Bluegrass from a local ATM. They used a chain, attached it to their bumper, and attempted to jerk the front of the machine off its hinges. Instead, the Hercules-like strength of the ATM door held the truck in place, and pulled off the vehicle’s bumper. The two panicked men fled the scene, not thinking twice about the missing bumper… They likely assumed they’d simply pick up one cheap at a junk yard. The attached license plate on the bumper left behind was a different story though. I found this story repeatedly, but names and exact locations were excluded.
Michael Allen Cecil of Old Louisville got really hungry in June 2014. He was so hungry; he took his shotgun, set up a faux pizza delivery across from his own residence, and waited. When the pizzas arrived, he took ONLY the pizzas at gunpoint, and left the driver what cash he had. A crime worth 10-20 years for $51 worth of pizza…
Michael Baker has been mentioned before, but his April 2012 stupidity is legend, and worth mentioning again. This is the cunning soul that siphoned gas from a police cruiser in Jenkins KY. What earned him the "legend" title? He then had his girlfriend snap a selfie with him; gas can, siphoning hose, and police car, while he extended an inappropriate appendage. The image was later posted on Facebook and led to his arrest. His brilliance outshines the majority of those on this wall of shame.
Most Kentuckians prefer a crime free life, and avoid wrong doers like the plague. Like everywhere else in the world, we do have a little stupid scattered about. These failed criminals are some of our worst case scenarios. Not everyone wants their 15 seconds of fame, especially when they get it for a grand scale act of stupidity. If you know of anyone else to add to Kentucky’s wall of shamed criminals, please comment below.
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