Kansas June 19, 2017
11 Foolproof Ways To Make Someone From Kansas Cringe
When you live in a state like Kansas, chances are you’ll come across quite a few people who don’t seem to understand that some of the things they say. There aren’t many foolproof ways to make us cringe, but when you’ve found one, you’ll know. In any case, this list is just for fun.
1. Those who assume Kansas is all "grass and cows."
Well, of course we have quite a bit of that, but there's plenty of rock formations, cities, and waterfalls to keep us occupied for years. In any case, I'm sure there's farmland where you're from, too.
2. Seeing someone who clearly forgot sunscreen or bug spray.
We all know the pain you're going through here, and seeing it reminds us to always remember to bring protection when outside.
3. Claiming your state's style of barbecue is better than KC barbecue.
Just admit it -- you don't know what barbecue is, and you'll never learn. It's okay.
4. Hearing someone talk about how "backwards" we are.
Strangely enough, we (like the rest of America) have had educated scholars, inventors, and important historical figures come from Kansas. We don't live on farms with no electricity, most of us have updated houses or apartments, just like every other state.
5. When someone offers "cow-tipping" as something fun to do, as if you'd ever get anywhere near a cow you don't know.
Maybe they don't realize that once you tip them over, they can get really angry, or that farmers have enough to deal with without you hooligan types playing in their fields.
6. When someone says "The weather is going to be PERFECT next weekend!" seriously.
Try not to make too many future plans without first having a couple back-ups because Mother Nature sure likes to surprise us sometimes here. Everything's not all sunshine over here, despite our sunflowers!
7. "Ar-kan-SAW river" or "Ar-kan-SAW" city.
No. Just no. When you're within Kansas lines, you'll say it right.
8. Those who try and 'modernize' comfort food
I get that it's fun to eat out of a mason jar sometimes, or off of a wooden board instead of a plate, but will you leave comfort food alone? It did nothing to hurt you!
9. Being told that Kansas is flat.
Look, if you only travel on the interstate it might seem that way, but there's a large part of the state filled with all sorts of non-flat features found all over the place.
10. Anytime we hear "Looks like we're not in Kansas anymore!"
In our heads, we're probably thinking about YOU not being in Kansas anymore. Soon, preferably.
11. The phrase "fly-over state."
We hear it a pretty often, however many states look almost identical if you're in a plane. Either get down here and appreciate our state's natural beauty, or get out.
What do you think are some other foolproof ways to make a Kansan cringe? In any case, here’s
11 things you might want to avoid as a Kansan.