Kansas November 14, 2017
13 Foolproof Ways To Spot An Imposter In Kansas
Honestly, there is so much diversity in Kansas that it’s hard to tell who’s who. We’re a unique bunch, but for the most part, natives always exhibit the same set of characteristics. Most people know about our hospitality, but do they know whether they stick out in the crowd? Maybe they’re hiding among us right now, eating our barbecue, blending right in. (Or so they thought.) Here are a few ways to tell if you’ve seen an imposter in Kansas.
1. They don't own any Kansas sporting gear, even if it's just sitting in their closet.
Everyone's been gifted something one way or another. And if you think about it, even the Broncos can count, since many of us live near Colorado as well.
2. OR they own any Mizzou gear.
It's just not done. There's no excuse for supporting our rivals!
3. They give directions based on miles, and don't know how long it should take.
For the most part, everyone gives directions in time and turns. "Ten minutes north, and take the first turn by the big cottonwood." is likely to be spoken at one time or another.
4. They prefer oceans to our lakes in the summer.
What's so good about oceans anyways. They've got sharks and jellyfish! We just have catfish, which taste so much better than getting stung by a jelly.
5. They're shocked when we close schools for snow.
Not only does most of our snow turn to slush on day one, it then turns to ice during the night, making for dangerous conditions for both children walking to school and the buses that need to take them there.
6. They don't know that Kansas and Missouri both share Kansas City.
We'd like to think it's an equal trade, but the Missouri side loves to pretend we have nothing to do with them.
7. They don't know the difference between bison and buffalo.
Kansas might be the "a home where the buffalo roam" as the song goes, but real Kansans know that we have bison, and buffalo live in other continents altogether.
8. They've never heard of the Flint Hills.
There's not much in the state more beautiful than the sun shining over the flint hills, and every Kansan's heard of them at least once, even if they've never gone that far east.
9. They don't have water or a blanket in their car on long trips.
Emergency supplies are a must for anyone traveling between cities. Sometimes there's not even a gas station for hours, so water is more important than anything, especially in the summer.
10. Also, they might complain about the "long drive" when it's only two hours.
It takes somewhere from 6-7 hours to take I-70 across the state, so two hours is a tad more reasonable for a drive. I know people who travel across the state just for a restaurant!
11. They immediately head for shelter during the first minute of a Tornado Warning.
Unless you're getting emergency warnings on your phone about taking cover, you're probably fine. Tornado Warnings usually amount to nothing in most areas, and many tornadoes don't even touch houses or get reported until afterwards.
12. They might call pop "soda" instead.
There's sections of Kansas that might favor other words (like Coke) but for the most part, we're a Pop state.
13. They complain of cold when it hits 68 degrees.
If you see them reaching for a jacket when it's just below 70, they might not be a Kansan. Many of us wait for it to be 60 or under to consider long sleeves. Unless we're the rare "cold all the time" group, that is.
Do you think you know any Kansas imposters around you? What else would give them away? After you’re done questioning your subjects, make sure to check out
this amazing spot where you can see wagon ruts from the Santa Fe trail.