Creepy July 26, 2015
These 8 All-Time Dumbest Criminals In Iowa Will Have You Laughing In Disbelief
Nowadays, as soon as you turn on the TV, or look at a news article, you see stories about crime. While all criminals are dumb for breaking the law, these 8 criminals just happen to be dumber than your average criminal; they also happen to be from Iowa. We promise that we aren’t all as stupid as these guys.
During these uncertain times, please keep safety in mind and consider adding destinations to your bucket list to visit at a later date.
1. A crappy deal
A Des Moines man called the police after someone tried to steal his car... and ended up taking a bag of dog poop instead. Don't even ask me how that happens because I can't even begin to know. The bag of stolen poo was valued at $1, and if the culprit is caught, he faces 3rd degree burglary charges.
2. A case of mistaken identity
An Iowa City man had his driver’s license stolen. The man worked at a club as a bouncer. One night, the thief showed up, brandishing the bouncer’s very own license as his form of ID. Needless to say the bouncer recognized his ID and the culprit was served a shot of justice.
3. You butter be kidding me right now...
A few years ago in Waterloo, a semi-trailer was parked in a parking lot when a thief slipped away with the trailer and all $50,000 worth of margarine aboard. After a search, the trailer showed up in a parking lot in Fowler, Michigan, but the thief and the margarine were nowhere to be found. Similar semi-trailer robberies have happened in the past with things like dog food.
4. How not to hire a hit man
There was an Iowa woman who didn't get along with her father, and decided to hire a hit man to take him out. So, logically, she put an ad up on Craigslist, offering $10,000 for an unspecified job. She got several calls (including one from an undercover officer), and she openly gave details to each caller about how she wanted a hit taken out on her father. After the cop pretended to be interested in the job, she was arrested and charged with attempted murder and conspiracy to commit murder.
5. You are here
A man was wanted in several Iowa cities for passing fraudulent checks. His real mistake, though, was taunting cops on his MySpace page, telling them they were dumb for thinking they could apprehend him. The man was surprised when cops showed up to arrest him shortly after, as he didn't realize his social media account posted his location along with his taunts.
6. Third time's a charm... or not
Two wannabe criminals from Waterloo had a little trouble with their heist, as they got three vehicles stuck in the ditch while trying to steal empty cans. The two men had broken into Bremer County Roads maintenance shop and stole the dump truck, which they used to steal several bags of empty cans from Community Lutheran School. Unfortunately for them, they got the truck stuck in a ditch. That's when they went back to steal a second truck... which they also got stuck. After that, they called in one of their parents, who... take a guess... also got stuck. When officers arrived on the scene, the two men were still there, trying to get the trucks out. The unsuccessful criminals were charged with 3rd degree burglary, criminal mischief, and possession of methamphetamine.
7. Master of disguise
Two men in Carroll were arrested after witnesses reported seeing two men trying to break into an apartment with fake beards and "masks" scribbled on their faces. The two were very drunk, and apparently thought that drawing on their faces with black permanent marker would work as well as any other disguise.
A Des Moines woman faked her own death to avoid paying her traffic tickets. The woman forged a letter from her mother to the judge handling her case, saying the woman had died in a car accident. As proof, she attached an obituary apparently from the Des Moines Register, and the judge dropped the case the next day. A month later, police pulled over none other than the recently deceased woman. Police found out she had forged the letter and the obituary, and that she had faked her own death to avoid paying her traffic tickets.
I am literally shaking my head right now. How did these people ever think that what they were doing was a good idea?!