Illinois December 26, 2016
12 Reasons Why You Should Never, Ever Move To Illinois
Illinois is clearly the worst place to live. With our delicious food, beautiful parks and preserves, year-round attractions, and rich history, it’s no wonder that people would never want to live here. Here’s what to expect when moving to The Prairie State:
1. You'll have to learn a whole host of winter sports.
Illinoisans are serious about winter, since we spend much of the year living with frigid temperatures. We like to seize the opportunity by going skiing, sledding, snowshoeing, snowmobiling, ice fishing...and the list goes on.
2. You will never keep up with your diet.
Between Chicago being known as the food capital of the United States and the array of Midwestern delicacies (read: casseroles) enjoyed throughout the state, you'll have trouble saying no to just one more bite.
3. You will become obsessed with Abraham Lincoln.
We're quite partial to our nation's 16th president, as he spent much of his professional career here. There's no end to the amount of Lincoln information you can take in at memorials and museums around the state.
4. Lake Michigan will forever change your view of what a lake should be.
I mean, it covers an area of over 22,000 square miles. Almost any other lake is going to look like a pond in comparison.
5. You will become a fresh fruit and veggie snob.
Sitting at the third spot in the nation for farmer's markets, Illinois has the whole farm-to-table thing covered. Visit one of the over 8,000 markets in the summer and you'll see why.
6. You might have one too many glasses of local wine.
There are more than 30 wineries in our fair state. That's no Napa, but it'll certainly please any wine lover's palate.
7. Your road trip bucket list will grow immensely.
Detroit, Nashville, Indianapolis, St. Louis, Pittsburgh, and Toronto are all under a ten-hour drive away, not to mention countless parks and other attractions. With everything in such close proximity, you'll be planning a trip every other weekend.
8. You'll endlessly argue over who serves the best Chicago-style pizza.
Is it Giordano's? Lou Malnati's? Pizzeria Uno? Illinoisans can't decide, but we certainly do enjoy taste-testing and then arguing over the details.
9. Baseball will become a point of contention.
Pick a side: are you a White Sox fan, or is it Cubbies forever? Whichever you choose, it's bound to spark debate. Or, if you live in the southern part of the state, put on a Cardinals hat and call it good.
10. You'll have to say goodbye to ketchup.
Ketchup-lovers, beware! Topping a hot dog with your favorite red condiment is a big no-no in our neck of the woods. Get some mustard, relish, onions, and celery salt and nobody gets hurt.
11. Starved Rock State Park will absolutely ruin all other parks for you.
This unexpected beauty has it all. From water tubing and hiking to bird watching and snowshoeing, Starved Rock knocks it out of the park all year 'round.
12. You might never reach the end of the corn fields.
Seriously, we have over 12 million acres of corn fields. And don't even get us started on the plethora of corn mazes. Steer clear if you want to remain part of civilization!
So clearly, Illinoisans have it rough. Or do they? Let us know what you think in the comments.