Chicago February 02, 2018
9 Things No Self-Respecting Chicagoan Would Ever Do
Spend enough time in the city, and you’ll start catching on to the rules of doing Chicago the Chicago way. You’ll quickly learn what no self-respecting city dweller would ever do. Follow these nine guidelines if you want to act like a true Chicagoan. Read on for more details.
1. Panic about the weather.
Whether it's snow, rain, or something in between, Chicagoans know better than to freak out at the sign of a storm. We're prepared for anything.
2. Trust a weather report.
It can go either way. Sometimes a foot of snow is predicted, but we hardly get one inch. Other times, they expect three inches, and we get three feet. It's best to just be ready for any possible outcome.
3. Take the late train.
Late at night on the train is safe, but things can get a little weird. You'll likely run into a few homeless people with nowhere else to go, as well as those who have stayed until last call at the local bars. It can be a rowdy crowd, to say the least.
4. Choose thin crust over deep dish.
No self-respecting Chicagoan would consider anything but this deep pie to be real pizza. That thin floppy stuff doesn't even compare.
5. Move a "dibs" chair.
We take "dibs" very seriously in the Windy City. When someone shovels their car out of a plowed-in street spot, they place a chair (or other strange object) there so that they can use it when they come home. Be kind and move along.
6. Drive the speed limit.
Honestly, cops won't pull you over for speeding unless it's at a level that is considered seriously reckless. The general rule is to keep up with traffic and go as fast as you can before the next traffic light.
7. Eat at a chain restaurant, unless...
...it's Portillos! With so many amazing restaurants that are native to Chicago, there's no excuse for filling up on McDonald's and Taco Bell. No self-respecting person would visit the city and not eat local.
8. Put ketchup on a hot dog.
There are still some parts of town where you'll get a dirty look for requesting ketchup on a hot dog. If you must have it, add that red sauce in secret.
9. Turn down a walk along the lakefront.
No matter the time of year, the shores of Lake Michigan are lovely. This is Chicago's natural gym, and it's 100 percent free to use!
Of course, some activities are encouraged. Check out
10 things Chicagoans do better than anyone.
What else would no self-respecting Chicagoan ever do? Share your thoughts with us!