Idaho April 22, 2017
The 8 Best Places To Hide In Idaho In The Event Of A Zombie Apocalypse
The zombie fad in the media may have died down, but the looming threat of an invasion by the walking dead – whether by nuclear fallout, a disease gone wrong, or otherwise – will forever be at large. While the odds are in Idaho’s favor in terms of surviving an apocalyptic event, there are still a few things to consider: shelter, food resources, and safety… facetiously (and hypothetically) speaking, of course. Ready?
We’re aware that these uncertain times are limiting many aspects of life as we all practice social and physical distancing. While we’re continuing to feature destinations that make our state wonderful, we don’t expect or encourage you to go check them out immediately. We believe that supporting local attractions is important now more than ever and we hope our articles inspire your future adventures! And on that note, please nominate your favorite local business that could use some love right now:
1. Twin Falls' City of Tunnels
These historic canals may be closed to the public for safety reasons and the entrances well-hidden, but in the event of a zombie invasion, would make the perfect place to barricade oneself and hole up for a few weeks.
2. Boise Underground Capitol Complex
Sealed off by emergency smoke doors and open only to authorized personnel, the tunnel that connects the state Capitol with the J.R. Williams Building and the Len B. Jordan building across State Street is a slightly mysterious place that the average Joe doesn't get to take a peek at. But, all that glossy white marble and fancy security should make this underground connector a mighty safe place to hide out. Decaying flesh can't run across slick marble, can it?
3. A National Forest Fire Lookout
A time-tested zombie-evading strategy is to assume an elevated position, ideally with a loaded rifle and a 360-degree view. After all, I don't know what a future zombie apocalypse might hold, or what supernatural powers and/or strength nuclear-modified living dead might possess, but I don't think climbing skills will be one of them!
Lo and behold, Idaho's fire lookout system. Designed for perfect bird's-eye views and about as deep into the wilderness and high up as one can get, these historic structures are a pretty safe bet for shaking any stumbling, flesh-eating minions. Bonus: beds, and nearby water.
4. Owyhee Canyonlands
Zombieland Survival Rule #1: Cardio. Idaho's southwest corner is a wonderland of canyons, crevices, rocky pinnacles, and open spaces to tire out weary, flesh-starving zombies. And if all else fails, opportunities to push one or two off of a cliff abound.
5. Dworshak Dam
It's a well-known fact that zombies aren't the brightest, and their climbing skills are pretty subpar as well. As the tallest dam in Idaho, perfectly seated in Idaho's center, Dworshak offers perfect spotting views of the surrounding landscape, and the steep concrete walls are perfect for keeping out walking flesh corpses. Bonus: Surrounded by water, which is arguably the best zombie deterrent, inhabitants would enjoy an unencumbered view of their surroundings.
6. Sandpoint Model Bunker
North Idaho is full of secret hermit caves and hidey-holes... as well as custom bunker builders who are willing to find and/or create the disaster home of your dreams. This particular nuclear fallout home in Sandpoint is nestled underground beneath its own snug piece of farmland just minutes from Pend Oreille and is fully self-sustainable. Also included: a year-round creek, 1000 square feet of food and preserves storage, and a backup generator, all for only $750,000. Can you say "zombie-proof"?
7. Boise Bomb Shelter
Originally called the "Highlands Community Fallout Shelter," Boise's own bomb bunker was the first prototype community fallout shelter in the United States designed to house multiple families for an extended period of time. This two-story, 14,000 square foot, steel reinforced concrete hideout had a controversial history when it was built in 1961 due to its catering towards Boise's more affluent residents... but that's another story for another time. While originally built during the Cold War and Russian occupation threats, today, the shelter exists as a set of music studios; however, a doomsday zombie event would make this shelter ideally suited to its original purpose.
8. Cougar Island
Once again, zombies can't swim. So anywhere you're generally surrounded by water is fairly safe as far as hideouts go. While Cougar Island is by no means the only island Idaho has, it does have a few beach homes on it that will make the perfect high- places to stay while you wait out the apocalypse.
More Idaho Islands
What do you think? Are there any disaster-proof places that I missed?