Idaho March 24, 2016
16 Ways You Can Always Spot Someone From Idaho… No Matter Where They Are
Forget body language or eye movements — there are much better ways to recognize an Idahoan from afar. In fact, when Idahoans travel to other states, we’re surprisingly easy to spot because of our habits and idiosyncrasies. The following are just a few definite tip-offs that someone is from Idaho.
1. They dress for function over fashion -- and it isn't always pretty.
Layers, tough shoes, pattern blocking... the whole works. Gucci shoes and Coach bags don't help us traverse mountain trails, face Idaho's spastic weather changes, or wade through stable muck.
2. Their hair is always a mess.
So much wind. Honestly.
3. They're genuinely confused when you tell them that Idaho is flat, boring, and/or has nothing to do.
Our state is basically a giant playground. What do you mean boring?
4. They appear to experience physical, mental, and emotional trauma at the sight of new buildings going up.
To an Idahoan, construction means imminent disaster and a threat to our precious landscape. The moment orange signs start going up, visions of New York start flashing through our heads and it feels like our hearts are being ripped open.
5. Their relationship to Californians is... complicated, at best.
Call it what you will: a strong aversion to, dislike of, slight malice towards, distrust of... Just don't be comin' in here with your lack of driving skills, "new money," and swanky sunglasses and think you can trash our environment. This isn't LA.
6. We're experts at dodging potholes, animals in the road, and, of course, avoiding collisions with crazy California drivers.
But most of us started driving before we were even 14, so we've had some extra practice.
7. They're super trusting. They might leave their keys in the car, house doors wide open, or even let precious equipment sit outside overnight because they trust that it'll still be there in the morning.
Don't look at us like we're weird.
8. They don't need the flashiest, newest technology to have a good time.
Give us a fishing pole, a day in the mountains, a few close friends, or a project to work on and we'll be happy as can be.
9. They might get moderately offended if you ask them about potatoes.
Yes, we grow them -- a lot of them, in fact. But most Idahoans have never even seen a potato field. In Southern Idaho, for instance, you're far more likely to see onion trucks and sugar beets barreling down the road.
10. If you quote, reference, or otherwise ask them about Napoleon Dynamite, this is the response you'll get.
More than likely they'll ignore the conversation entirely simply for the pointless redundancy. We've heard all the jokes. ALL of them.
11. We have better taste in steak than you do, and hold firm to the idea that meat should be served in large portions, without frills.
Meat should be served with a side of beef and garnished with... more beef.
12. They'll give you a strange look for running to the store multiple times per day or week. Why would you buy something from the store when you can make it, grow it, and/or fix it yourself?
Idahoan ingenuity. And yes, duct tape IS a solution.
13. They get giddy at the sight of rain.
The phrase "excessive annual rainfall" is incomprehensible.
14. They wear
all the camo, all the time.
So if you can't spot us in your state, that just means the camouflage is working.
15. They wake up when it's dark and go to bed when it's still light.
16. They wave at everybody, regardless of whether they know them or not.
We're of the friendly sort.
What other signs make it easy to recognize an Idahoan?