Florida August 16, 2017
12 Indisputable Reasons Why You Should Move Far, Far Away From Florida
We all know Florida is the worst, right? It’s just such a drag spending every day surrounded by beautiful beaches and lots of sunshine. And there’s almost never any snow! Who would want to live in a place like that? We do, obviously, but Florida is growing at a crazy rate. We figured we’d make a list of all of the awful (wink, wink) things about our state before it gets way too crowded.
1. Life here is just so hectic.
Everything just moves at a faster pace here. Sometimes it's hard to keep up, and it's almost impossible to relax.
2. It's sooo boring here, with nothing to see or do outside of the theme parks.
Remember, the whole state is basically just theme parks. Once you've visited all of those, there's absolutely nothing else to see. How boring!
3. The weather is just terrible.
With all of the heat and hurricanes, we basically have to spend the whole year inside.
4. All of the wildlife is extremely dangerous.
You really have to be really careful here, with danger lurking around every corner. For example, this animal might look harmless, but it might rip this guy to shreds at any moment.
5. There are absolutely no good beaches.
Ugh. I mean just look at this. That sand will practically blind you. No thank you!
6. Without mountains, there's just no real scenery.
Florida is the flattest state in the country. You can't have beautiful scenery without mountains!
7. Tourists have taken over everything. There's nothing natural left.
There are no small towns, either. Everything is so bland.
8. You just can't get good pizza, subs, etc., here.
You've probably heard this one a lot. We all know that all of the good food is made in other parts of the country. Even though we have tons of restaurants, none of them are any good.
9. It's hot all year long, so you're always stuck indoors.
There is such a thing as too much sunshine, and we've got it. We just don't know how to handle hot weather.
10. There's just no real history here.
Theme parks really put our state on the map, so you won't find anything from before the 1970s.
11. Everyone is just so uptight.
It's so annoying to have to get up and put on a suit every single day, no matter what you're doing. Everyone is just so uptight and unfriendly. Loosen up a little!
12. There's nothing but theme parks, strip malls, and high rises.
Everyone knows there's no reason to leave the beaches or theme parks. The rest of the state is just a vast deserted wasteland with, of course, no scenery.
There you have it! All of the reasons that Florida is terrible What do you think about this list? Are you ready to move away from Florida?