D.C. December 14, 2016
16 Reasons Why You Should Never, Ever Move To Washington DC
They say DC is a cutthroat town, full of politicians and people in suits. The metro never runs right and there are tourists everywhere. You know, now that we think about it, DC is a pretty tough city to live in. You’ve got to have a certain type of attitude and a certain type of strength and for those of us who have it, it’s a great city! But if you’re unsure if you should move to Washington DC, maybe you should take a look at what life is really like here…
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1. We’re just full of politicians.
No one else here does anything else. It’s all just politicians and diplomats, how boring!
It’s a stuffy town and no one has any fun.
Everyone wears a suit and talks about foreign affairs.
3. Museums and monuments are so boring.
It’s like being stuck on a never-ending class field trip. Who cares that the first plane to ever fly is here or that there is an entire museum dedicated to spies? Nothing to see!
4. The sports teams are always awful.
And we have a lot to choose from: Redskins, Nationals, Wizards, DC United. But they’re never good and they never have good players!
5. It’s so expensive so you never have any money to do anything.
DC has one of the highest cost of living in the area so you will definitely not be able to actually do anything in the city. Other than the Smithsonian museums, the Zoo and most of the Monuments and a whole bunch of other things, everything here costs money.
6. It’s a city so if you like outdoorsy stuff, we’re not for you.
It’s just a concrete jungle… with a bunch of parks, rivers and gardens scattered around it.
7. If it snows, you won’t be going anywhere.
Even if there is only a quarter of an inch of snow on the ground, everything will shut down and you’ll be forced to spend the day at home and not at work. Sometimes if it just rains, everything shuts down.
8. You have to be prepared for every type of weather.
DC gets all four seasons and it’s the worst. You need to have shorts and t-shirts in the summer and coats and boots in the winter. Who wants to shop for all those clothes?
9. You’ll spend all your money on food.
And you’ll probably gain weight. There are so many restaurants, so many options, so many cupcakes.
10. Most people just escape the district anyway when they have a chance.
There’s got to be a reason why DC is close to three airports and has so many great weekend getaways within a few hours of it, right? Because everyone wants to leave!
11. You probably will never feel like the smartest person in the room again.
Almost everyone here was at the top of their class. Most of them were the valedictorian. You probably won’t be the captain of your trivia team.
12. The height restrictions means we have no skyline.
There’s the Washington Monument but other than that, DC is just not very pretty at night.
13. It’s nothing like Scandal, Homeland or House of Cards!
We have not been able to find Frank Underwood or Olivia Pope, no matter how hard we try. We have seen three Congressmen, an ambassador and the head of the Treasury department though.
14. All the tourists.
There are thousands of people who pay tons of money and take off work to visit the city where you live. It’s such a hassle to be an international destination.
15. Everyone here is so fit.
There are so many kickball teams to join and bike paths and jogging paths and free exercise groups. It’s exhausting.
16. But you know we are kind of a swamp so who wants to hang out here?
There is nothing to see here. We repeat, nothing to see!
What do you think? Do you still want to move to Washington DC?
Maybe these 15 reasons why Washington DC is the absolute best will convince you!