Colorado January 18, 2019
The 11 Puns About Colorado That Are So Bad They Are Good
If you are a regular reader of Only in Colorado, you may remember a few months ago when we brought you
The Quirky Town In Colorado That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud,
which showcased the hilarious one-liners on the marquee of the Indian Hills Community Center. We thought about this gem again recently and wondered, “Are there any great puns that are Colorado specific?” That’s when our dad-brains began turning, resulting in these 11 puns about Colorado that are so bad, they are good:
1. Every single Coloradan come June: "Ah, hail no!"
I literally say this out loud every summer and my two-year-old and five-year-old never seem to appreciate it... and based on the boos I am hearing through my computer screen, I am guessing you don't either, so let's move on.
2. Everyone in Colorado has a dog? You've got to be
Full disclosure: I actually have a spoiled cat named Bella, but the joke was there, right?!
3. Wow, it
is a pretty Grand Lake!
*ba dum ching!* In all seriousness, Grand Lake is the grandest of Colorado lakes, as it is 1.5 miles long, one mile wide, and 389 feet deep, making it both the largest and deepest in the state.
4. Yes, marijuana is legal in Colorado... now
leaf the jokes alone.
Get it? Because cannabis is a plant and has leaves? Ugh, never mind.
5. Did you know that many of Colorado's oldest towns were established because of the railroad? Choo-choo on that!
Ha ha ha, I slay myself, I really do! If our older towns weren't established for the railroad, it was for our many mines, which were once a true gem.
6. We got Case Keenum a "Get well soon" card. He's not sick or anything, but he could definitely get better.
By the way, how have we NOT discussed Vance Joseph's firing yet?! Super Bowl 2020, right? RIGHT?!
7. Why won't any of Colorado's bicycles stand up by themselves? They are two tired.
Thankfully for us Coloradans, most of our beautiful streets have pretty nice racks ripe for the picking! (Don't forget your lock.)
8. The last time we visited the Eastern Plains, we took a picture of a field of wheat. It was grainy.
9. A tourist was walking around a Denver suburb and asked the shop owner, "What is the name of this town?"
"Boulder," he told me.
So I stuck out my chest and shouted, "WHAT IS THE NAME OF THIS TOWN?!"
Speaking of Boulder, I wonder if all the town's vegetarians and vegans ever think they've made a huge missed-steak.
10. I'll admit it: Beau Jo's looks pretty good! Now give me a
Eat your artichoke hearts out, Chicago, New York, Sicily, California, and any other place that thinks their pizza is superior to ours.
11. Finally, why did this magnificent Rocky Mountain National Park black bear hate this article? He can't bear puns.
Don't worry, black bear... you’ve reached the end!
For even more Only in Colorado humor, click on
The 15 Hysterical Inside Jokes That You Will Only Appreciate If You Hail From Colorado.