Colorado May 27, 2017
12 Foolproof Ways To Make Someone From Colorado Cringe
If you hail from the Centennial State, you know that there are some things that are flat out wrong… from four-legged felines to terrible football teams, there are just some things that make us cringe more than anything else, including:
1. Weed jokes
Yes, recreational marijuana is legal here in Colorado... BUT WE HAVE HEARD EVERY SINGLE JOKE AND DON'T THINK THAT ANY OF THEM ARE FUNNY, SO PLEASE STOP! Thanks.
2. The Kansas City Chiefs...
3. ...and New England Patriots
Gone are the days where we complain about the Raiders (well, for the most part)... we REALLY can't stand the Chiefs or Tom "Wah-I-Didn't-Deflate-the-Ball-You-Guys-Stop-Picking-on-Me" Brady.
It's like a dog, only it's smaller and wants to kill me. Do I pet it? Do I run? Will it eat my face? What am I supposed to do?!
5. New York-style pizza
Needless to say, thin and cardboard-like pizza a la New York-style is NOT served with a honey dipping sauce. (Colorado style ≥ New York, Chicago, and California-style pizzas COMBINED)
6. Broncos 2016-2017 season
No comment you guys. No comment.
7. Natty Light
Okay, it isn't just Natty Light... it's basically every one of the cheap domestic beers pictured on this pyramid that makes our stomach turn!
9. ...and Texas plates
Look, if you are just driving through and supporting our economy, welcome! If you are moving here and plan to complain the entire time about how Colorado isn't like home, then get out NOW.
10. Californians and Texans in general
I mean, if we are being honest...
11. Driving on I-25
No matter the stretch or hour of day, there is really never a great time to drive on I-25. (Side note: There is a special place in hell for the guy who decided that Colorado only needed one major road running north and south!)
12. Casa Bonita
If the 1+ hour line doesn't shatter your soul, either the inedible (and overpriced) grub and/or debilitating humidity will. (Or the crazy gorilla man who runs amuck throughout the restaurant... we can't forget about him!)
For even more Centennial State humor, check out these
14 Things Coloradoans Do That Seem Insane To Everyone Else.
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