Denver April 09, 2017
15 Undeniable Things That Only Happen In Denver
If you live in Denver, you get it; there are some things that happen here in the Mile High City that just don’t happen anywhere else. In case you’re new to the area — or are planning to visit — here is a quick heads up of what to expect, via these 15 undeniable things that only happen in Denver:
1.) Your next-door neighbor is a LEGAL pot head...
I mean, not that he wasn't already a major stoner BEFORE recreational marijuana became legal...
2.) ...and finding a local dispensary is easier than finding a Starbucks.
That's right, folks; according to
Colorado Pot Guide
, there are more dispensaries in the state than there are Starbucks and McDonalds COMBINED!
3.) Win or lose, we stand by our men!
...emphasis on lose. (Just kidding, boys; this is our season! I can feel it!)
4.) A 32-foot tall, 9,000 pound demonic horse stands guard over our airport.
No funny business or Blue Mustang -- more commonly known as Blucifer -- will follow you to your home and mess stuff up (or so I've heard).
5.) Denverites prefer listening to music from the comfort of a rock.
If you have never had the pleasure of taking in a concert via the epic Red Rocks Amphitheatre, you have never really been to a concert.
6.) Our sense of direction is based purely on the mountains.
Toward the mountains = west.
7.) Only in Denver do you wear flip flops in the snow...
Seriously; why spend an upwards of $100 on boots when you can get a perfectly good pair of flip flops for $1?
8.) ...shorts during (and after) a blizzard...
As long as you pair them with a nice hoodie, you will keep plenty warm!
9.) ...and risk the chance of getting both a sun burn and frost bite in the same day.
This just happened to me on Tuesday!
10.) We avoid this awesome-looking place like that plague.
...because if we go there, we may actually end up coming down with the plague.
11.) Coloradans smother EVERYTHING in green chile...
I mean, you haven't lived until you have swapped out your maple syrup with green chile!
12.) ...and don't just drink to get drunk.
Believe it or not, our local brews are so good that we just like to sip them with our meal.
13.) Biking > driving
Given the choice, we would rather bike to work than drive which, fortunately, is easy to do here with all the bike paths and special lanes!
14.) Finally, despite the fact that we can go home and chill out with either a joint and/or local brew, we get notoriously bad road rage...
You would too if you only had one major road running north and south, and one running east and west!
15.) ...and believe that a red light means to gun it*.
*For the first 8 seconds or so... then it's time to stop.
For more Only in Denver humor, check out these
13 Things Denverites Do That Seem Insane To Everyone Else.