14 Ways You Can Always Spot Someone From Denver... No Matter Where They Are
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R. Phillips
Author
You’re strolling down the street in a no-name town, and you see a guy with a burly beard, wearing plaid, and driving a Subaru full of dogs, bikes, and other gear. Chances are, he’s from Denver! Here are 14 ways you can spot someone from Denver, no matter where they are…
...but probably more like two to five, depending on the number of humans in the household. Our dog to person ratio is definitely Mile High! (Oh, and our dogs are probably all rescues...adopt, don't shop!)
Or as some affectionately call it, we are "lumbersexual." We boast big beards, plaid flannels, work boots, and perhaps a trusty ax. You just never know when you may need to fell a tree. Timber!
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If we aren't lumbersexual, we're probably sporting sleeves, plugs, flat brim hats, and impeccably clean sneakers, which we only remove to carve freshies on the weekends. Yeah, brah!
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Said adventure mobile will also have a cleverly crafted name and allow us to sleep anytime, anywhere. Oh, the sweet freedom of van life!
We may travel light, but we also travel with an assortment of gear. Our rides have a rack for everything, and we keep them stocked full. Impromptu paddles, climbs, and powder days often occur on the fly, and as the Scouts and all avid outdoor adventurers know, the motto is, "Be prepared!"
That's it. You're pretty much required to purchase one when you move here. (Followed by Audis and Toyotas, if you must.)
As soon as the temperature rises above 35 degrees, there's a good chance we'll be wearing flip-flops or Chacos.
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...as well as the rest of our wardrobe. (We may even don the infamous foam horse head hat.) Broncomania, baby!
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Repeat offenders are: "You got high, now go home," "Native," and "No vacancy!"
Rain, snow, sleet, or hail, no matter what, we WILL be outside doing something. Running, biking, cross-country skiing, slack-lining, or...
We don't need a man to lead us on our outdoor excursions. We got this, ladies!
We also carry beard wax and can be seen curling our mustaches to perfection at stoplights. Sam Elliott's got nothing on these stellar 'staches!
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Period.
...and they also like to meditate and do yoga on top of mountains and whatnot. We're not dubbed Coloradical for nothing!
What did we forget? How do you spot someone from Denver no matter where they are?
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