Denver February 12, 2017
13 Things No Self-Respecting Denverite Would Ever Do
If you are a native Denverite, you know there are some things that are just flat out wrong to do. If you are new around here and are trying to fit in, take notes, as the following are 13 things that no self-respecting Denverite would ever do:
1.) Buy your weed from a shady dealer behind a bowling alley.
That is SO 2009, y'all.
2.) Say "y'all."
3.) Voluntarily hop on I-25 during rush hour.
Unless, of course, your blood pressure is low and your doctor is looking for ways to raise it.
4.) Hit up Taco Bell for a quick burrito...
Umm, you do realize that both Chipotle and Q'doba were founded here, right?
5.) ...or Pizza Hut for a slice.
See: Beau Jo's Colorado Style Pie.
6.) Cheer for the Raiders.
...or the Chiefs... or the Patriots... or the...
7.) Order a Bud Light.
Seriously, why? You're in the craft beer capital of the world!
8.) Stay inside on a gorgeous day...
9.) ...or not-so gorgeous day.
Yeah, we're pretty much outside 24/7... but can you blame us?!
10.) Befriend a Californian.
Kidding, kidding. (Kind of.)
11.) Buy a car that is too small...
That ain't going to handle our epic snow storms!
12.) ...or too big.
Now you're just overcompensating and destroying the environment.
13.) Finally, no self-respecting Denverite would EVER travel out-of-state to ski.
I have never heard of people talking about their epic ski trip to New Hampshire... have you?
For even more Denver-area fun, click on
15 Ways Colorado Is America’s Black Sheep… And We Love It That Way!