Denver August 02, 2016
Here Are 12 Things You’ll Never Catch Anyone From Denver Doing
Here in the Mile High City we’re pretty passionate about a lot of issues. (See: Beer, the great outdoors, and football.) Whether you’re a new resident or a tried-and-true local, people from Denver hold many things to be sacred, and we intend to protect them. Here are 12 things you’ll never catch any self-respecting Denverite doing…
1. Admitting they don't like Mexican food.
2. Ordering a generic, tasteless, mass-produced beer.
Insert Coors jokes here.
3. Eating generic, tasteless, mass-produced Mexican food.
This falls into the "things I wish were true about Denverites" category. Unfortunately, many of our residents seem to have forgotten the concept of "Leave No Trace." Sigh.
5. Leaving their dog poop and/or plastic bag filled with dog poop on the trail or sidewalk.
Wait a minute, this also falls into the "things I wish were true about Denverites" category. Sigh.
6. Not cheering for the Broncos.
7. Cheering for the Chiefs.
This guy obviously isn't from Denver.
8. Staying in bed all day.
Up and at 'em, Denverites! Too much fun to be had to cower under the covers all weekend.
9. Going on a 420 tour.
10. Smuggling pot across state lines.
Just because it's legal here, doesn't mean it's legal everywhere else. Yet.
11. Loaning their vacuum cleaner to their neighbor.
Seriously: It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.
12. Mutilating a rock.
In Colorado "it is unlawful for any person to willfully mar, mutilate, deface, disfigure, or injure beyond normal use any rocks, trees, shrubbery, wild flowers, or other features of the natural environment in recreation areas of the state." Don't do it!
On the flip side, here are
20 Undeniable Things Every True Denverite Has Done At Least Once. Conquer them all!