Posted in Arkansas
June 26, 2017
12 Things Longtime Arkansans Wish They Could Tell Newcomers
As much as Arkansans want to be the most warm and welcoming people in the world, we maybe have a little attitude about folks moving to our state. There has to be a happy medium between being excited to share our love of the Natural State and being endlessly frustrated by the things we find less than appealing about newcomers, right? I propose a solution. Let’s send this list of a dozen things we wish we could say to newcomers to our new neighbors. That way, we can stay polite about the things we’d never really say to anyone anyway and still get the point across.
We’re so glad you’re enjoying the enchanting outdoor spaces of the Natural State. Now please, pack out what you pack in.
We value our waterways, and we don’t want you to leave them a mess. It’s easy, really. Don’t throw your trash in the lake.
If you’d be embarrassed to tell that one joke you know about Arkansans to your granny, you ought to think twice about telling it to an Arkansan. We’re not amused.
No Arkansan has ever been walking around wishing that someone would pity them for being from Arkansas. We’re pretty proud of our home state, actually.
At least give fried veggies a chance. And gravy, too. All the well-made gravies will make your taste buds happy.
We also have the Ouachitas. And the Delta. The Ozarks are lovely, but so is the rest of the state.
No one has an ulterior motive for letting you cut the line in Walmart to pay for your single gallon of milk. I promise. Go ahead. No one is going to stab you or ask for your firstborn as payment. We will not, as the grannies say, "take it out of your hide." We’re just nice.
Don’t get me wrong, some of us can cuss up a storm under the right circumstances, but we’d rather not have to explain that word to our children . . . or mammaw.
Don’t believe that? Hop in the car, darlin’, let us drive you to our favorite spots.
Yes, it’s all beautiful, but you need to know where you are and stay safe.
You moved here for a job or school? Great! I’m so glad you’re here! How’s your job or school going? So happy to hear that!
See, that’s how our side of the conversation should look. Pictured: our faces when you go on and on about chicken houses or your boredom with rural life.
See, that’s how our side of the conversation should look. Pictured: our faces when you go on and on about chicken houses or your boredom with rural life.
So you’ve decided to call the Natural State home. We’re glad you’re here, and we’re happy to help you out however we can. Having said that, if you could please review items 1-11 on this list before you come over for dinner, that would be great.
If you’re looking for more things to send to newcomers, send them this list of dos and dont’s and this list of things they might find surprising. This one here is for the tourists.
