Arkansas September 26, 2015
13 Halloween Costumes That Are Perfect For Someone In Arkansas
It’s nearly October and if you’re Halloween-inclined, time is drawing near for you to get your costume ready! If you’re still thinking up wildly creative ideas for outfits that will leave your fellow seasonal revelers howling like werewolves, here are some Arkansas-based ideas that might inspire you…keep in mind, this is all in jest for one night of fun, mind you!
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13. You can be the actual Arkansas Traveler.
If you absolutely have to go hillbilly for Halloween at least make your costume historically significant! Find a fiddle and tell your friends you're not just any mountain man - you're the original Arkansas Traveler and ready to confound any tourist with your down-home humor!
12. Be a Confederate soldier (if only for a day).
This is likely the only time of year from now on when you can get away with flying the Confederate flag, Arkansas - sure, you might proudly support Old Dixie any other day of the year but you're guaranteed to get a few cross glances. Dress up as a Confederate soldier on Halloween, though? It's a lot harder to argue social issues on a day where everybody dresses up as something that may potentially offend another person.
11. Go dressed as your own interpretation of the Fouke Monster.
If you're seen or heard of the Legend of Boggy Creek, then you're familiar with the Fouke Monster! The supposed Bigfoot-like creature has reportedly been seen around the Jonesville and Fouke areas since the mid 1960s and 1970s and has been the subject of B-grade horror movie folklore for decades.
10. Dress up as "Jailbird" Jermain Taylor.
It's been a rough year for our fallen local boxing star...only recently has Jermain Taylor been cleared to travel out of state after a year of arrests and bizarre apologetic videos from hot tubs. With that said - why not pay a little homage to the former middleweight boxing champion by donning a jailbird outfit and some boxing gloves for Halloween? Those who are confused as to your identity can ask - and if you're brave enough, you'll have a toy gun concealed somewhere on your person so all doubt can be removed to which famous Arkansan you are.
9. Dress up as a socially-aware-and-haunted-by-it homecoming queen.
Behold the beauty of a Natural State high school homecoming! The football players are at their best and looking their finest...and you can just see this year's Homecoming Queen - dressed in black to mourn (or protest) someone and wrapped up in her own personal crisis - blocking out everyone else in the world, happy to be alone with herself (and preferably her smartphone) posting on Tumblr how she hates cosmetics, formal dresses, and how she's trapped in a society that glorifies royalty...welcome to the 21st century youth crisis, Arkansas...
8. Go dressed as one very frustrated judge.
Has it been a more confusing year for anyone else who isn't an Arkansas Supreme Court Judge? The world is changing rapidly and it seems like the Natural State is caught up in the whirlwind of gay marriage and Medicaid payments to Planned Parenthood. If you show up at a local party dressed as a judge who's angrily waving your gavel around and ranting about how you're caught in the middle of everyone's rights - you might win first prize this year.
7. Dress up as a future superintendent of the Little Rock School District.
This is probably one of the easiest Halloween costumes to put together for an Arkansas resident - all you need is a sign that says "LOOKING FOR HIGH-PROFILE WORK IN LITTLE ROCK, SCHOOL SUPERINTENDENT EXPERIENCE" and a briefcase (or Manila folder) that contains one doctoral dissertation printed off from the World Wide Web - or just a stack of blank papers in your portfolio, your choice... Not only will you be a hit at your Halloween party but you'll probably be hired on spot.
6. Go dressed as an anti-Razorback fan.
The LSU fan lurks among us...and the scariest thing is that these Louisiana State University supporters walk around the Natural State in plain sight. Show up at a Fayetteville Halloween party in purple and gold and decrying everything Razorback. Either you'll get a good laugh or someone will take the rivalry too seriously and you might have to verbally (or physically) defend your choice of costume to someone who really, really loves dem Hogs.
5. Wear a padded suit with a "We're Number One" sign.
If you haven't heard, Arkansas has attained the not-so-prestigious position of being highest in adult obesity according to a recent Robert Johnson Wood Foundation report. To "celebrate" this news, why not don a sumo outfit (and maybe put on some Razorback gear over it if it'll fit) and brag to your friends about how we're number one when it comes to obesity in America? The right (and maybe the left) people will laugh.
4. Find a kaiser blade (some folks call it a sling blade) and make some new friends.
Karl Childers has an ax in this picture but folks from Arkansas won't find it too terribly hard to find a Kaiser blade - some folks calls it a sling blade - to frighten the daylights out of the people attending your Halloween party and be reminded of this memorable Billy Bob Thornton character. Just be happy your name isn't Doyle Hargreaves and you're serving plenty of mustard and biscuits at your gathering...you'll be all right, then.
3. You can be Mike Huckabee if you really want to be.
Want to stand out in your political beliefs but stand firm at the same time? Be Mike Huckabee this Halloween season! No matter how you feel about the current Republican presidential candidate, you can definitely heart Huckabee for the Halloween holiday by sporting a nice suit, your favorite red tie, and carrying a bass guitar that shows not only are you a people's politician, but you also can play backup in a band whenever necessary!
2. Do it. Dress up as Hillary Clinton. You get bonus points if you bring Bill to the party.
If you feel like your preferred politically active Arkansans are getting picked on unfairly, have no fear. Those who can put together a a Hillary Clinton Halloween costume that doesn't include a witches' hat are the creative ones. What you really need to replicate the former First Lady of Arkansas/First Lady of America and potential Democratic presidential candidate is a blue (of course) power suit - or pants suit if it's a casual day - and a microphone that's with you (and on) at all times, especially during crucial campaigning tours.
1. Be Josh Duggar...yes, be Josh Duggar...for Halloween.
Suppose you want to get a thrill out of your friends at a Halloween party this year and you want a timely and grotesquely humorous costume that fits your home state? Dress like Josh Duggar, the scariest Arkansan of 2015! Sporting a Jos. A. Bank (or cheaper) suit and a sign of your own creation that says (preferably in all caps) "SORRY AMERICA, THANKS FOR THE FAME ANYWAY" you can be one of 2015's most publicly reviled individuals! Whether or not you sympathize with ol' Josh, you can still actually become him for Halloween this year!
Of course, these ideas are (mostly) tongue-in-cheek, but don’t be surprised if you see an award-worthy Duggar impersonator at your office Halloween party or a costumed Hillary and Bill taking home prizes for best dressed this year! What creative Arkansas-based Halloween costumes would you wear? Leave a few ideas in the comment section!