11 Foolproof Ways To Make Someone From Arkansas Cringe
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J.B. VanDyke
Author
When you live in the Natural State, it’s inevitable that you’ll run into some folks who manage to somehow walk around with both feet in their mouths when it comes to all things Arkansas. These folks, bless their hearts, never fail to say excruciating things out loud. It isn’t too easy to get on the wrong side of an Arkansan, but I’m willing to bet if you know somebody like that, they’ve landed on your NOPE list by saying or doing one of the 11 things below.
Look here, honey, if you don’t like the way we talk, we can point you back toward the state line.
May we introduce you to our friend the outdoors?
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Seriously, we don’t want to hear a single thing about Texas or Memphis. I suppose Kansas City is okay, but that place doesn’t even know what state it’s in.
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Bless their hearts, some folks seem perpetually confused by the idea that Arkansas isn’t one big chicken farm run by a bunch of first cousins. Nope, we’ve got cities and mountains and valleys and prairies and gorgeous farmland, too.
Look, Fayetteville and Little Rock are perfectly lovely places, but there’s more to the Natural State than major population centers. Adventure awaits in every rural county.
While we’re on the subject, I’m about tired of every single travel website only talking about how amazing the Ozarks are. We’ve got a whole state of amazing here, and I’m sure the good people of the internet are interested in more within the Arkansas borders than just artisanal kale sandwiches and insta-worthy tree tops.
While we’re on the subject, I’m about tired of every single travel website only talking about how amazing the Ozarks are. We’ve got a whole state of amazing here, and I’m sure the good people of the internet are interested in more within the Arkansas borders than just artisanal kale sandwiches and insta-worthy tree tops.
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No, darlin’, I do not live near Conway where your second cousin went to undergrad. I was not born in the same place as Bill Clinton, and I do not have a personal relationship with every human who ever lived in Arkansas. So I guess I’m saying no, I don’t know Jimmy Smith from up near Jonesboro you think.
It’s Ar-kan-saw. In fact, it’s against the law to mispronounce it within the borders of the Natural State.
We’re cringing, and we’re feeling sorry for your mama while wondering who raised you to talk like that.
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My sweet, wonderful grandmother asked my transplant husband to leave her house because he said something mildly offensive about the hogs. I believe her exact words were, "You can walk that opinion right back across the yard before I make use of these knittin’ needles. And don’t let the door hit you on the way out neither."
He apologized.
Worst of all is acting like Arkansas is a third world country. We have clean water, there aren’t armed patrols roaming the streets. We’re Americans, just like all of you.
We’ve got indoor plumbing, and most of us can fix it when it’s broken, too. So just move along with that nonsense.
While we’re at it, you might want to check out this list of surefire ways to make an Arkansan mad and this list of dos and don’ts.
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