Okay, okay. We hate all the how-many-teeth jokes and the jokes about how we don’t own shoes. We hate the speed dating at family reunions jokes and the married-to-our-siblings jokes. Are there any jokes about Arkansans that don’t turn our stomachs? Are there any we can laugh at? We believe so, and we’ve compiled a list of 10 of our favorites.

1. An Arkansas State Trooper pulled over a truck on I-40. He said to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver said, "Bout what?"
Flickr/Jason Schultz
2. A teacher asked her students about Arkansas’s official state bird. Johnny raised his hand immediately and said, “Mosquitoes.”
Flickr/Sanofi Pasteur
Seems legit.
3. Which state has the most pirates? Arrrrrrrkansas.
Flickr/leshoward
Just a few Arrrrrkansans, walking down the street.
4. Why do the Arkansas Razorbacks eat cereal straight from the box? They choke when they get near a bowl.
Youtube/Joel Robinson
Be careful when you tell that one. Razorback fans are everywhere.
5. How do you know you’re from Arkansas? Your mom has been in a fist fight at a sporting event.
Flickr/ Travis Warren
It probably happened the first time when you were about this age.

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6. What’s an Arkansan’s idea of hors d’oeuvres? Potted meat on a saltine.
Flickr/Jenni Konrad
. . . and zebra cakes . . . and canned cheese . . .
7. Bubba called 911 because his house was on fire. The dispatcher asked “How do we get there?” Bubba replied, “Don’t y’all still have all those big red trucks?”
Wikipedia/Ildar Sagdejev
8. What do they call Hee Haw in Arkansas? Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous
Wikipedia/Denny-Moeller Talent
She's so fancy.
9. What's the difference between a Yankee zoo and an Arkansas zoo? On the cage in a Yankee zoo, the cage will have the name of the animal and the scientific name in Latin. An Arkansas zoo will have the name of the animal and a recipe.
Flickr/Keith Murdock
Sciurus carolinensis, or, in Arkansas, mmmmm . . . stew . . .
10. An infinite number of Arkansans, in an infinite number of pickup trucks, firing an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs, will produce all the great works of literature. In Braille.
Flickr/Jay Miller
Here we have the first few lines of War and Peace.

See? Not a single missing tooth or married relative in the bunch. How’d we do? Do you have any great jokes about Arkansans that we missed?

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