23 Signs You've Been in Alaska Too Long

There are a million and one reasons to visit Alaska and even more reasons to never want to leave. “I came to Alaska on vacation and never left.” It’s a story that locals hear time and time again. But once you’re hooked (both on the state and on the fishing), you slowly start to develop a lifestyle that leaves outsiders shaking their heads with confusion. Here are 23 signs that you have spent way too much time in Alaska.

1. You don’t remember the last time you’ve seen a movie in the theatre that came out on the actual release date.

2. From outerwear to underwear, you have at least two patterns of camouflage to choose from.

3. You don’t remember the last time you went to a professional sporting event. Well, aside from dog mushing. And the Alaska Aces.

4. Stopping in traffic to let the moose cross the road is already scheduled into your morning commute.

5. You refer to anyone not from Alaska as a “lower 48’er.”

6. You don't have a single friend that doesn't like to fish and hunt.

8. You don’t remember the last time you’ve eaten a meal that didn’t include a fish you caught or an animal you've killed.

9. Driving across state lines? Yeah, not anytime recently.

10. You officially only know two seasons; always frozen and always daylight.

11. You don’t remember the last time you’ve seen the sun fully set in the summertime.

12. You don’t remember the last time you didn’t have to take a plane to get to the grocery store.

13. Having a small campfire means a minimum of 10 pallets will be sacrificed.

14. You buy and sell a new snow machine every year, even if it doesn’t snow.

15. An ATV is your primary form of transportation.

16. Seeing a sled dog team on the side of the road is no longer something you write home about.

17. You have so many old tires stacked up around your house that you’ve decided to make flower planters out of them.

18. Saying "I live in the bush" no longer makes you giggle.

19. You have no wall space to hang pictures of your family because your taxidermy has taken priority.

20. Your sled dogs have more pairs of shoes that you do.

21. Congratulations, you’re a real Alaskan; your lawn has officially turned into a boatyard.

22. Your address is a mile marker post. Or, “the big blue house between the spruce tree on the right.”

23. Your wife has begun to threaten divorce because your gun collection is encroaching on her shoe closet.

Well there you have it – 25 telltale signs that you’ve definitely been in Alaska too long. But hey, we’re not saying it’s a bad problem to have. There is certainly something very liberating about being able to hang salmon in your yard or wear Xtratuf’s to Christmas Dinner without getting any dirty looks. How many locals can relate to these signs?

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23 Signs That You Have Spent Way Too Much Time In Alaska

Courtney

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