For the most part, Virginians are the friendliest people you’d ever want to meet. They’ll talk about almost anything, they’ll go out of their way to help and they’re (usually) the sweeter-than-sugar kind of polite. Most of out-of-staters would agree. But if you’re looking for a death-defying thrill or are just interested in seeing a Virginian get riled up for sport, here are a few things you could say to get the party started…
1. You’re from Virginia? That’s basically like D.C., right?
No…no, no, no. Sure, a lot of NoVA is connected to DC through work and politics – and yes, Northern Virginians might sometimes SAY they’re “from the DC area” for the simplicity of it, but do not confuse having urban centers and a diverse group of people with not being from Virginia.
2. So, WHY do you cheer for the Redskins?
Do not ask silly questions. Yes, we know we just got in your face about Virginia being separate from D.C. And yes, we know they are the WASHINGTON Redskins. But we don't care. We also know they play in Maryland. Still, don’t care. HTTR. End of discussion.
3. The Pilgrims had the first Thanksgiving.
Nope. Try again. We beat the men in black by 2 years. 1619: the first feast of thankfulness went down at Berkeley Plantation. The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade…that one’s on the North.
4. There’s nothing to DO in Virginia.
I suggest you leave the house periodically.
5. Aren’t Virginia and West Virginia the same thing?
If you would like to see veins start throbbing in a Virginian’s head, go ahead and ask this one. Have fun with that.
6. Where do you go to hear good music?
I can only answer that question with a question. Where CAN’T you go?
7. Oooohhhh…tobacco, huh?
Umm, yes tobacco. Don’t say it with such a condescending tone. We’re not saying smoking is a great idea, but we have a centuries-old tradition of growing it and it has been the livelihood of many proud families for generations.
8. Northern Virginia doesn’t count.
We can say it. You can’t. Let’s be honest, NoVA is the place we love to hate. Stick a group of NoVAians and SoVAians in a room and it’s like the Hatfields and McCoys. But NoVA is so full of Virginia history, tradition and culture, it will make your head spin. Get past the traffic and prices and it’s like when you always told your little brother he was adopted. You didn’t want to claim him, but you’d miss him if he was gone.
9. Virginia? All a bunch of rednecks/southern belles/politicians.
Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of folks who would take any of these as a compliment. And good on ’em. But you might want to learn a little more about Virginians before you go around trying to put us in a single category.
10. Talk smack about T.J.…go ahead, I dare you.
I have nothing more to say about this. Really. You’ve been warned.
11. So…do you make your own moonshine?
Ummmmm. No. But I might know a guy…
12. You do know the Civil War is over, don’t you?
Of course. We don’t all drive around waving Confederate flags and singing Dixie at the top of our lungs. But we do honor our history and that’s just how things are.
13. If you want to see real mountains, you have to go out West.
Really? The West can keep their rocks, we’ll take the Blue Ridge, the Appalachians, and all the rest any day of the week.
14. Virginia isn’t REALLY the South.
Do. Not. Get. Me. Started. Virginia may not be the deepest part of that legendary thing called “the South” – but we are Southerners by our own definitions, traditions, and personalities. And we’re proud of it.
15. What’s up with Bob McDonnell?
We don’t want to talk about this anymore. Ever.
16. How can you STAND the humidity?
Don’t know. How can northerners stand 12-feet of snow every winter? Let’s just say, we have our ways.
17. There just isn’t history here like there is in Europe.
Are you kidding me? Aside from being home to the oldest permanent English settlement, which gives us more than 400 years to start with, we have rich Native American history, archeological treasure troves, and soooo much more.
18. I hate ham.
Not in Virignia, you don’t. If you THINK you hate ham, you’ve probably never had Smithfield ham on a fresh biscuit.
19. What are grits?
Only a little bit of heaven when cooked just right with some salt and butter. Or with cheese. Or with shrimp. Or in a casserole. Or with red-eye gravy. You get the point.
20. Why would anyone want to live in Virginia?
The question is, why would you live anywhere else?
21. Peanuts in your Coke? That’s disgusting.
You've obviously never tried it.
22. Why does 1/2'” of snow shut everything down?
Ok. That’s a good question. It’s mainly because things tend to get icy, as well as snowy. But we also have 4 stunningly perfect seasons. If we have to slow down a little for snow, that’s ok. We’ll make up for it in spring.
Do not say this. EVER. They are called “lightnin’ bugs.” It is mandatory to drop the “g.” I know this because when writing a recent article, I accidentally said “fireflies.” The funny thing is, I’ve always called them lightnin’ bugs, but I typed “fireflies” because that’s the title of the picture I was using. I will never make this mistake again. Suffice it to say, I was put in my place.
24. We only serve unsweetened tea…
Go ahead and say it if it’s true, but for the love of all that is holy, do NOT follow it up with, “But there’s sugar on the table.” It is not the same thing…no matter how many packets I use. I’ll just have a Coke, thanks.
25. What does “Virginia is for Lovers” even MEAN?
Spend some time here. You’ll get it.
As a Virginian, what are the things people say that put you over the edge? Tell me in the comments below…this should be fun!!