1) Throw Rocks Somewhere Else
Logan has a law against throwing rocks “to annoy any traveler or pedestrian.” Unless you get the property owner’s permission; then you can be as annoying as you'd like.
2) Bury Your Pet Promptly
In St. George, you have two days to bury a deceased pet. Forget sitting Shiva, or holding a wake.
3) Wait Until You’re Acknowledged
In Price, it’s against the law to interrupt the city engineer while he is engaged in official duty. I wonder if his secretary is aware of this law?
4) Whale Hunting is Illegal
Those plans you had to harpoon a whale in the Great Salt Lake have just been thwarted.
5) Don’t Mess With the Milkman
In Salt Lake City, you can only have “casual contact” with the milkman. If you need a more thorough definition, ask your husband. There are no laws on the books regarding the gardener or the paperboy, in case you’re wondering.
6) Bait Your Hook Properly
While you’re fishing, you cannot use or possess corn or hominy. Maybe fish are so wild about our Utah sweet corn that it’s an unfair advantage...but hominy? Really? I’d think a fat, juicy worm would be more appetizing.
7) No Sheep Herding Down the Streets of Salt Lake City
You can’t just drive your animals down any street in the city — unless the mayor says you can. Hey… Ralph? I have these sheep and I need to get them from 5th East to City Hall. Can you help me out?
8) You Must Drive on the Road
It’s illegal to drive on the sidewalk. Why the Utah State legislature thought this one had to be on the books is beyond me...seems like a no-brainer. Maybe Utahns watch too many action movies?
9) “Look Ma, No Hands!” is Illegal
Utah mothers must have lobbied for this one. In Utah, you’re required to keep one hand on the handlebars of your bike at all times. Because it's all fun and games...until someone gets hurt.
10) Keep Your Potty Mouth to Yourself
Swearing is illegal in Logan. So when you’re kids are driving you to insanity, you can’t say those words you’d like to say. Also illegal: “fighting words.” That oughta shut your kids up — tell little Joey that if he doesn’t stop threatening to punch his brother, you’ll have him arrested.