11 Things A True Detroiter Can Honestly Say They've Never Done
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Sophie Boudreau
Author
While there’s no specific playbook that defines what it means to be a genuine Detroiter, there are a few common traits we all share. After all, life in the Motor City is undeniably unique, and those of us who reside here share a bond that can’t be fully understood by outsiders. Here are 11 things that true Detroiters have certainly never done.
We had to start out our list with the most obvious common thread of them all: an undying devotion to our less-than-stellar football team. Those of us who continually root for the Detroit Lions have never had the experience of seeing our team play in the Super Bowl, but that doesn’t mean we’ve given up hope. Next year is our year! Right?
When nausea strikes, every true Detroiter opts for a fizzy sip of Vernors instead of "real" medicine. After all, we’ve grown up experiencing the healing power of this beloved ginger ale - so why would we make the switch to a more traditional remedy? Vernors is the only elixir we can always count on.
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We have nothing against ketchup on hamburgers, french fries, or even traditional hot dogs, but it simply doesn’t belong on a coney dog. Every Detroit resident knows that it’s a true sin to cover your coney with this tomato-y red sauce, and none of us would be caught dead consuming this unfortunate flavor combo.
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We’ve never been to South Detroit because, well, it doesn’t exist! Non-Detroiters might be shocked to hear that the famous line from Journey’s "Don’t Stop Believing" is actually a total sham, but it’s true: South Detroit is not a real place. If it were, it would be situated smack dab in the middle of the Detroit River.
It’s called "pop," and we’ll never waiver on this belief. We Detroiters are steadfast in our devotion to calling our favorite fizzy drink by its rightful name, and you’d be hard-pressed to find any of us using the dreaded "s" word. While we’re on the topic of pop, you should also know that we’ll always choose Faygo over any other competing brand!
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Here in Detroit, Paczki Day is eagerly awaited throughout the year. When Fat Tuesday rolls around, many of us are late to work because we’ve been tasked with picking up a few dozen of these delicious pastries for the entire office. We don’t mind, though: after all, Paczki Day is nothing short of magical!
True Detroiters are well-prepared for the frigid temperatures that grip our city each year. Visitors or newcomers to our region might find themselves shocked when snow days aren’t awarded due to inclement weather, but we’re used to the arctic blast. You’ll never find a Detroiter whose car isn’t fully stocked with multiple scrapers, a bit of sidewalk salt, and emergency hand warmers.
Ah, that Detroit commute. Can someone say "potholes and construction?" No matter how long we wait, the highways leading in and out of the Motor City never seem to improve - despite the fact that construction feels omnipresent. We’re looking at you, I-75!
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This might apply to Michigan as a whole, but there’s a massive population of sports fans in the Detroit area who adhere to the "anti-Ohio" rule. After all, Michigan State and U of M fans alike can agree that Ohio State is the worst, and our disdain for all things Ohio often extends beyond the sporting world.
Detroit and euchre go hand in hand. There’s nothing better than settling in with a few pals for a euchre tournament, and we’re always eager to play. It doesn’t matter where we are or who we’re with: a total stranger could pull out a deck of cards in the bus station and we’d still be keen to take on the challenge!
Living in Detroit is fantastic, but it’s certainly not without difficulty. After all, our city has been through its fair share of ups and downs throughout the years - and those who haven’t experienced our resilience firsthand are quick to make judgments. Despite the negativity, Detroiters retain a sense of pride and hopefulness that can’t be shaken, no matter how many insults we encounter.
Tell us, fellow Detroiters: what are some other things that a true Motor City resident has never done? We would love to hear your input, so drop us a line in the comment section below!
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