When you live in Massachusetts, there are certain questions that you just always seem to get from out-of-staters. They usually mean well, but sometimes you can lose your breath explaining away common stereotypes (no, we’re not all mean New Englanders) and regional quirks (you take your coffee “regular,” right?). Check out these common queries that you’re likely to get once you advertise that you’re from the Bay State.
1. "Do you park your car in Harvard Yard?"
Bet you think you’re the first to ever roll out this witty quip.
2. "So do you love the Red Sox/Patriots/Celtics/Bruins?"
Yes. Obviously. But I mean, we’re not all running around with Brady’s face tattooed on our chests.
3. "But have you actually ever been to one of their games?"
Who do you think is buying the tickets? Elves from Texas?
4. "Why didn't you use your turn signal?"
Oh, is that what that thing is for?
5. "Do you know the Kennedys?"
No, we haven’t all had tea with Jackie-O. Though there’s a good chance our cousin’s friend’s barber’s niece took flute lessons with one of the fringe Kennedys.
6. "Where’s the tunnel to the Cape?"
Right near the Sagamore bridge. You can’t miss it.
7. "Oh, so you must be really liberal then?"
Maybe. Maybe not. Chances might go up if you're talking to someone from Boston, but you never know.
8. "Do you really say things like 'wicked pissah?'"
Depends. The “pissah” portion is somewhat rare (depending on where you live), but “wicked” is an indispensable part of our Massachusetts lexicon.
9. "What is 'fluff?'"
Gasp. Only the king of sandwich spreads. You watch your mouth.
10. "Why is there no ice cream in my milkshake?"
Because you should have ordered a frappe.
11. "Where’s the nearest Dunkin’ Donuts?"
If you’re standing in Massachusetts, there’s a good chance you’re also standing in a Dunks. Like, a 1 out of 5 shot, statistically.
12. "Do you like clam chowder?"
Yes. Moving on.
13. "Why don’t you have a Boston accent?"
1) We’re not all from Boston. 2) Not everyone in Boston has an accent. Sorry to disappoint.
14. "Can I get sprinkles on that?"
Sure. But if you want the chocolate kind, you're gonna need to ask for jimmies.
15. "How do you deal with all this snow?"
With lots of salt, plenty of sweaters, and a good deal of swearing under our breath.
16. "Why are those bowling pins so skinny?"
Because that's the way the universe intended them to be. Candlepin is the superior flavor of bowling.
These questions may be silly, but they do make us laugh. For a few more chuckles that only Massachusetts natives will understand, check out
these jokes about people from the Bay State that are actually funny.