Mainers like to pretend they’re a hearty bunch. We laugh when other people complain about their own winters because we want you to think we’re not phased by things like cold weather. Snow? We can take it! Ice? No problem! But, sadly, the reality is that we hate it. Mainers suffer through the winter because we have to, not because we like it. In fact, being in Vacationland is pretty much awful. Don’t believe us? Here are just a few reasons why visiting Maine in the winter is the worst decision you can make.

1. It's just so ugly!
pavdw / Flickr
Barren and boring are two goods words used to describe Maine on days like this.
2. And, it's grey and colorless.
coreytempleton / Flickr
It's as if someone came in and turned everything into black and white. It's a real bummer.
3. Even the cities shut down.
coreytempleton / Flickr
Portland definitely doesn't put up gorgeous tree lights and it's not atmospheric at all.
4. The roads are far too dangerous and always covered in snow.
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They're never plowed, which makes it impossible to get around once the snow falls.
5. Cars just don't drive in this kind of cold and without them, there's no other way to get around.
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You could try to walk, but you'd probably just freeze.
6. There's no way to get around.
coreytempleton / Flickr
It's best to just stay inside.
7. Really, there's NO other method.
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Hope you can find a comfortable chair inside.
8. And, there's absolutely nothing to do.
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At least out west you can ski, but here in Maine. No winter outdoor activities. None.
9. Mainers are really boring in the winter.
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Mainers walk around sad from October to May. No smiles. Send help.

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The 15 True Phases Of Surviving A Maine Winter
10. The sun never comes out.
jackflanagan / Flickr
Skies are grey and it's almost always dark outside.
11. There's nothing worth seeing at the beach.
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Definitely don't bring a camera.
12. Did we mention how ugly it is?
chiotsrun / Flickr
Plain and simple.
13. It's really hard to keep kids entertained.
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You have to keep them inside all winter, which makes them bored and cranky.
14. Everyone takes themselves so seriously in the winter.
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15. ...It's just too cold to be funny around here.
erikorama / Flickr
16. Once everything freezes over, there's nothing to do out there.
bobtravis / Flickr
Mainers have no imagination either, so it's not like we can find fun things to do on the ice.
17. There aren't any community events going on - not until we thaw.
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Enjoy Halloween because that will be the last time you do anything.
18. You can't get any exercise when everything is covered in snow.
mainerunningphotos / Flickr
Nope. Never go outside.
19. So, unless you want to be surrounded by dark, cloudy skies and a general sense of sadness - just stay home.
smilla4 / Flickr

So, take our advice. Skip it. Stay home. Don’t bother with us up here in Maine. We’ll handle things here on our own.

If you’re not from Maine, but happen to fall in love with someone there’s a good chance you’ll end up visiting in the winter. We can’t give you any advice for how to handle that (like we said, it’s terrible) but click here are some other things you should know about dating a Mainer.

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