Even Iowa has its undesirable qualities. So if you’re an Iowan reading this today, count your lucky stars you’ve survived everything on this list.
1. Heart Disease
Sheesh. We're really starting on a downer, aren't we? It is a morbid fact that the number one killer of Iowans is heart disease.
2. Cows: The Domestic Assassin
You don't see any expression in those cold eyes, do you? Cows are ruthless killing machines, and take five times as many American lives every year than sharks (that's still only around 20 or so).
3. Those Dang Dusty Roads
Anyone who has frequented the rural gravel roads of Iowa has had that heart-stopping experience of driving 60 mph into a spontaneous cloud of dust. Who says Iowans don't like their thrills?
4. And Watch Out For The Trains
Many Iowan towns are adjacent to one of the state's many railroad tracks. Mostly, these things just make you late to work or wake you up at night, but even a tie is a loss if you try to race across the tracks.
5. Corn Or Quicksand?
If you've ever seen a combine full of corn grain, you've probably thought it looked like fun to jump in it. Well, don't! If you aren't extracted from the grain quickly, you can sink into it and suffocate, much like quicksand.
6. Getting Lost
As was previously mentioned, there's a lot of rural gravel roads in Iowa. There are also plenty of places where cell phone service is as rare and precious as water in the desert, and most Iowans know the feeling of being lost in the thick network of country streets.
7. Little Green Men
Every year multiple Iowans claim to be abducted by aliens, and it is apparently quite the traumatizing experience. Although there are many adamant believers of these abduction stories, there has never been any evidence to prove their legitimacy. Still, you might run into a proclaimed "abductee," and that's pretty risky!
8. Getting Anywhere Can Be A Journey
If you live in small town Iowa, odds are the closest Target is a half hour away, and you probably can't get to a respectable mall without an hour of highway time. For the seclusion and peace of mind of rural life, it's a risk many are willing to take.
9. The Weather
Iowa is no stranger to extreme weather. The state can get bone chillingly cold in the winter, and has had many blizzards. The summers can get exceptionally hot and humid, and in the spring there are tornados!
All things considered, it’s not a terrible list of cons. Life isn’t too perilous in little old Iowa, and we like it just fine that way. Are there any other risks Iowa life poses? Comment below and share!