Have you ever tipped your waiter? Have you ever opened a tab at a bar? Have you ever winked at a woman you don’t know? Well you, my friend, are a criminal according to the state of Iowa. I don’t know how you live with yourself. Times have definitely changed, but Iowa still has some old, silly, and crazy laws in place; here are the 10 craziest ones!
1. It's illegal for mustached men to kiss women in public.
Sorry fellas, rules are rules. If you want to give your lady PDA you have to shave the face.
2. It's illegal for a kiss to last longer than 5 minutes.
If you finally shave your stache and get the chance to kiss your girl, make sure the kiss lasts under 5 minutes - or it's illegal.
3. It's illegal to sell drugs without a drug tax stamp.
It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp. We just want to make sure our drug dealers are up to code.
4. According to Iowa law, one-armed piano players must perform for free.
Sounds like a bad business to get into for people with one arm...
5. It's a crime to use a dead person’s handicapped parking sign or license plate
But my great aunt left it to me in her will...
6. Ministers must obtain a permit to carry their liquor across state lines.
The Blood of Christ is far too potent to be carried across state lines (without a permit).
7. In Cedar Rapids it's illegal to read a person's palms in the city limits.
Fortune telling just isn't tolerated in Cedar Rapids.
8. In Ottumwa, a man may not wink at any woman he does not know.
'9-1-1 what's your emergency?' Yes a man in Ottumwa just winked at me. 'Stay where you are ma'am, we have officers on the way.'
9. In Marshalltown, horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants.
Because it is preposterous and won't be dealt with. Every year, horses cost thousands of dollars of damage when they eat fire hydrants, and they must be stopped.
10. In Mount Vernon, one must obtain written permission from the City Council before throwing bricks or stones into a highway.
Are you kidding me? Now I have to wait weeks for approval before throwing bricks at the highway?? This is ridiculous.
BONUS! The Iowa Legislature once passed a resolution ordering the state cafeteria to start serving cornbread.
Because everyone knows that the key to a successful, high functioning society is corn bread. What do we want? Cornbread! When do we want it? Now!
Well, you do the crime you do the time. See you guys on the flip side. Know of any more crazy laws? Share them with us in the comments section below!