11 Foolproof Ways To Make Someone From Florida Cringe
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Victoria W
Author
We like to think Floridians are mostly friendly folks with sunny dispositions, but everyone has a few pet peeves. If you’re looking for a way to annoy a Floridian, we have a few suggestions for you. If you’re hoping to actually make a few friends here, you can think of this as a list of things to avoid.
Nobody wants to think about those months when their town's population swells and they can't even get a parking spot at the grocery store. Plus. the roads are full of drivers who don't know where they're going.
Key lime pie was invented here, and it is our official state pie (yep, that's a thing). It also happens to be super easy to make, which is why it's extremely frustrating when someone tries to mess with perfection. For example, this slice could probably have done without the pool of green slime.
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We'd have to really love you to go somewhere cold in the first place. If there's snow shoveling involved, you owe us.
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We're vaguely aware of the fact that folks in some other states would never consider flip-flops actual day-to-day footwear, but that's just part of who we are. For us, they're just a natural part of our laid-back lifestyle.
Yes, even Floridians occasionally have to wear a "real" pair of shoes, for one of those rare times when even your nice sandals won't fly. That's when we dig through our closets and dust off one of our lonely pairs of closed-toe shoes. (And maybe even a pair of foot sweaters. I mean, socks).
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Nothing is more annoying to a lifelong Floridian than watching some dummy get a foot away from an alligator to snap a photo, or even worse, harass one. We love our wildlife, but we also respect it.
Yes, we realize there are some ridiculous stories coming out of our state on a daily basis, but there's only so much you can take before you start to lose faith in humanity. If you want to stay happy, the best course is probably just to avoid 90% of the news regarding the shady side of the Sunshine State.
Bless your heart. We can't help it if living here makes you sort of a beach snob.
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How fascinating. We're so lucky to have an ambassador like you to help us learn how to do things the right way (eye roll).
Don't be that guy. Nobody likes that guy.
We're proud of our home-grown grocery chain. And in fact, it's been voted one of the best in the country. It's cool if you don't want to shop there. That just means more cookies for us.
How do you survive these cringeworthy moments? What else drives you crazy?
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